are you puzzled by past deeds dictating your future?

Coaches Corner with The Conquering Coach You Cannot Conquer What You Will Not Confront! Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful little princess named Makayla who feared Monsters. Makayla happens to be my little princess daughter who developed the F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) of “monsters”. She was afraid to open her closet at night in fear the “monster” would get her. After speaking with her pediatrician we learned the following: in her head, a monster is a real something, that intends to harm her or loved ones. Kids create monsters because of their personal experiences that show them how people can behave in a painful manner toward one another. After explaining pretend vs. reality, she and I stood head on to confront that scary monster hiding in her closet. I’m happy to say, she has conquered her fear! Perhaps you and many other people are just like my daughter. Has someone or something in your past caused you pain? Have you locked away painful experiences in your closet of life? Has the time come for you to confront the lurking “monster(s)” in your closet? Ask yourself this powerful question; am I ready and willing to conqueror my closet monsters?

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Are you “Puzzled” By Past Deeds dictating your future? It is truly my belief and passion in life that YOU are more than a conqueror whether you realize it or not…yet! What exactly does it mean to conquer? What is your personal definition? An online definition reads: To overcome or surmount by physical, mental, or moral force. In plain terms I agree with this definition. As for me, to be more than a conqueror you must first start with conquering yourself before conquering the world. “It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell” – Buddha. I absolutely love the above quote! Conquering oneself is about establishing an inner victory. The key to living a victorious life is to live as an over comer. Life gives us plenty to overcome that our past is only one piece of the puzzle. Life is just one enormous puzzle that we must figure out. The world’s largest jigsaw puzzle weighs 42 pounds and is composed of 32,256 pieces. Seems rather large, right? Well take a minute to think, how much weight are you carrying from your past? I’m certain it weighs more than 42 pounds! How many pieces of the puzzle have contributed to your past and where you are in the present? Life is just one enormous puzzle that we must figure out. The world’s largest jigsaw puzzle weighs 42 pounds and is composed of 32,256 pieces. Seems rather large, right? Well take a minute to think, how much weight are you carrying from your past into the present and potentially into your future? I bet it weighs more than 42 pounds! How many pieces of the puzzle have contributed to your past and where you are in the present? Growing up my mother enjoyed putting together puzzles. As a child she would invite me to sit alongside of her and join in the “fun”. Fun in the sense of I really took pleasure in putting the puzzle together. Although it was quite testing at times, it was an obstacle to conquer! I would celebrate the little success in rejoicing at finding a piece that fit, it was awfully rewarding.

While reflecting on this childhood experience it showed several similarities between puzzles and life. Every puzzle piece plays such a critical part in the big picture. In our lives, it is people and events that play the critical parts. As with pieces in a puzzle, each one of us is so unique and special in our own way. On the surface we may appear alike, but there are no two alike just look at our fingerprints. Maybe as luck would have it, it is our differences that make us fit.

Sometimes as I would work on these puzzles, there was always that one piece that I just knew belonged in a certain spot. Even though it did not fit and would not fit as long as I would keep trying to make it fit, forgetting that I tried it previously. Perhaps I had it set in my mind that I felt it belonged there and was going to make it fit somewhere it did not belong. Are you “guilty” in the same sense like me? Trying to make things happen that just were not meant to be. I would try over and over again to the point of forcing it, but it simply was not meant to be and absolutely nothing I did changed that puzzle piece.

If you have ever done a puzzle then you will know what it is like to spend so much time looking for one very specific puzzle piece. In my mind I really thought I knew what it looked like, but as you may know looks can be deceiving…everything that glitters is not gold! Even though it appeared to be so obvious…I just could not find it. How could I allow myself to become so wrapped up into finding that one piece that I couldn’t see beyond it? Sometimes we just needed to step away from similar situations in life. Sure enough after becoming irritated, I decided to simply step away from it for a while. Upon return it was discovered right away as it had been in front of me the whole time!

Life has been comparable for me throughout the years. Always trying to justify why things happen the way they do. High and low I have searched for answers when all too often I find the answers right in front of me. As my mother would say, “if it was a snake it would have bite you” It is only when I allow myself to take time out and just stop, then reflect and breathe then ultimately make the decision to just let it go – that the answers always seem to find me in any situation. Life is just one big puzzle if you think about it in these terms:
1. Unless you are psychic then you are uninformed of how the final picture will look.
2. Initially all pieces are scattered and everyone is unique just like people.
3. You can start with the easy pieces or the harder ones.
4. Teaches you to practice patience over a period of time.
5. Take a time out as you will become frustrated.
6. Stop trying repeatedly to fit a piece into an opening that you know is never going to fit.
7. Perhaps you need to separate from a piece, move on to another, and then come back when you can see more clearly.
8. Maybe the piece slightly fits then you attempt to reassure yourself that everything is functioning properly while knowing the “fit” does not actually fit.
9. Learn from your mistakes and try not to do the same things continually, even if you slip up a time or two.
10. Utilize another set of eyes belonging to a friend may prove to showcase their skills and techniques to teach you another way of solving a “problem”.
11. Never give up… Your completed puzzle may be just around the corner!

Let’s be real here, are you capable of traveling back into your past to make changes? Probably not…Well, not unless you are Michael J. Foxx in the movie “Back to the Future”. What has occurred can’t be changed. However, you have the power to simply let go and accept those choices. Regardless if you’ve made choices that haven’t served you, experienced hurtful events, or even settled for mediocrity, your past will never change but you can! It is time to set it out-of-the-way and not make it wrong, invalidate it or act like it never happened. We are simply unable to look at all the pieces of our lives presently and comprehend the important role that each of them plays, there are far too many holes and the picture is not clear. When your life’s journey ends, and that last piece is put into place, you will look back and realize why everything happened. No longer will you wonder why there was pain, why certain people came and went in your life. You will be able to see the completed picture and the beauty that went into every piece that made it whole. Don’t waste your valuable time or energy any longer on the past. Your past playbook is void and now you have a chance to play a new game; a better game, a more successful game to create the extraordinary life you deserve. Start focusing on changing your present and future TODAY!

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